Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Weed Could Be Wrecking Your Heart – Study Uncovers Dangers of Smoking and Edibles - SciTechDaily

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How can I stop drinking?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Stroll needed "urgent medical attention" for pain after qualifying - FIA · F1 - RaceFans

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

6 Foods You Should Be Eating for Bone Health, According to Dietitians - Yahoo

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

Five differences between Pilates and yoga you need to know before deciding which is right for you, according to a certified teacher - Fit&Well

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

The Best Of Roots Picnic Made Up For The Absolute Worst - HuffPost

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Power Rankings: RBC Canadian Open - PGA Tour

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have a reading level above third grade

Are narcissists happy people generally?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Navigating some of the thorny questions of estate planning - NPR

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I actually pay taxes

Astronomers baffled by mystery object flashing signals at Earth every 44 minutes: 'Like nothing we've ever seen' - New York Post

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Defiant Tusk to call confidence vote to reassert his authority in Poland after election setback - politico.eu

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do schizophrenia symptoms change throughout the day?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

NJ electric bills are about to jump 20% — who's to blame and what can you do? - Gothamist

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Meghan Markle, Prince Harry mocked over ‘cringe’ delivery room dance video from Lilibet’s birth - New York Post

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I took the same Oath and took it seriously